Cry of Silence was brought up in a Christian home. I did what I was told and followed all the rules that were set before me. I always was an obedient child, the one who did what was right. However, I never developed my own relationship with the Lord or personal convictions. I was trained to marry a Christian man, like many of us were. So this is what I did, but I was deceived. I quickly learned that every man that names the name of Jesus is not of His. So here I am now, married with my so called "Christian man"- thinking all was perfect, but was I wrong.
Now this is where my wilderness experience begins, the training that God had to take me through. In this marriage I was abused emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually. I also was a victim of infidelity. Within this time all I knew to do was to seek God's face, through prayer and reading God’s word. During this time I developed a TRUE relationship with the Lord. I got to know him as my redeemer, a deliverer and a mind regulator. No one but me knew the pain or the amount of suffering that I was dealing with in my Cry of silence.
One day in my car, I heard an advertisement for a local Christian Counseling Agency. The Holy Spirit lay upon my heart to call them. This is when my healing began. I realized that God did not want me in this situation that I was in; He loved me too much to have me suffer. I was so confused because I know that God is not a God of divorce. I would hear messages at church on how we are to pray for God to heal your marriage, and I spent 13 years on my face asking for this. I had to let go of being concerned about what Man would think, and I had to grab hold of the Word that says, who the Son sets free is free indeed!!!
My personal song of redemption is Alabaster Box. One of the verses in that song says, ‘you don't know the cost of the oil in MY alabaster box’. This is when I knew I had to remove myself from the Hell I was in. So you see I know what it is to be in a place that it hurts so bad that I want to take my own life- and yes, I was saved. I just got to a place where I was emotionally bankrupt, but no one ever knew because I wore my masks very well. I wasn't ready to remove these masks until I personally sought out the qualities of God, for myself- I cried out to God for 13 years, and he lead me out of the wilderness with all the scars to show and to let woman know that God is able to bring you out in your right mind. Ladies God is ABLE- more than able- to bring us through. No matter where you are or what you are going through, God will carry you through! BUT GOD-- always remember there is always, a BUT GOD in every and all situations.
Signed,
Cry of Freedom
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