From the Pit to the Rock

Lord, please give me the words to write so that they will be relevant to others, that there would be soul stirring. The love and gratitude I have for Jesus is more than words can say. I pray my life would be just a pinch of thankfulness to Him. 

My favorite Scripture is Psalms 18. I know God wrote it with me on His mind. He knew I would need to read it at some point in my life. He knows our beginnings from our end and all the in betweens. Here is why this particular Psalm is my favorite:

Verse 1 – The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. My God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn (which means strength) of my salvation and my stronghold.

I would not want to imagine my life today without the privilege of being able to take refuge in my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, my God.

Verse 2 – I call to the Lord, whom is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.

But what if your enemy is the very one you love? My husband was an abusive alcoholic whose action of opening another can sent my children fleeing to their rooms, and me feeling as though I wanted to hide from him as well. I prayed God would forgive me for allowing my children to live in this environment, being too afraid to leave. Although my husband never hit the kids, the emotional damage to them was just as significant as my bruises.

Verse 4 – The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.

This is how one feels when they are living in these circumstances. I can’t tell you in these few words the horror that existed for me and my children. One can only imagine, BUT GOD!

Verse 6 – In my distress, I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From His temple he heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears.

The Lord heard my cry with His ears. It is amazing to know that He’s listening to me. He was waiting for me to call on Him so He could come to my rescue. He is a warrior ready to battle any enemy that comes against us. So what did He do?

Verse 9 – He parted the heavens and came down.

Verse 13 – The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies.

Verse 16 – He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemies.

My soul stirs as I write this, to know that the Lord came to me, took me in His arms to comfort and protect me while he battled my enemy. He said, “Its okay, my daughter, I’m here. Everything will be alright.” To know that He loves me that much brings tears to my eyes. Knowing I was drowning, He pulled me out of the deep waters. I tried for years to work this out on my own. I never succeeded for this reason:

Verse 30 – As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

This is why I couldn’t fight this situation on my own. It wasn’t my battle, it was God’s and He was just waiting for my call.

My husband is sober now, the abuse has stopped, and healing is taking place. Although it is a long journey for all of us, I know God is with me every step of the way. And because of who He is in my life, the lives of my children, and because of all He has done and continues to do…

Verse 49 – Therefore I will praise You among the nations, O Lord; I will sing praises to Your name. He gives his king (which is us) great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to His anointed, to David, and his descendants forever.

My God, words are not enough to tell of Your grace. Thank you, Lord!

Signed,

The Rock

Much Afraid to Grace & Glory

Habakkuk 3:9  The Lord God is my strength, and He will make my feet like the hinds’ feet, and He will make me walk on my high places.

Several years ago I read a book based on this scripture titled “Hinds Feet On High Places.”  The story is an allegory about a girl named ‘Much Afraid’ and her journey away from the valley of humiliation and up to the high places with her beloved shepherd as her guide.  The pursuit up the winding mountain was long and at times treacherous but around every hairpin turn and at the edge of each precipice the shepherd, the lover of her soul, was there encouraging her to stretch beyond herself and reach greater heights than she ever thought possible.  When at last ‘Much Afraid’ approached the top of the mountain she discovered a freedom that she had never experienced before.  And, even more than that she was healed from many infirmities that had plagued her for years.  Unable to express her feelings by mere words she laid at the feet of the shepherd and wept joyfully.  He took her by the hand, lifted her up, and with more love in His voice than she had ever heard He said, “You will no longer be called ‘Much Afraid’, from now on  you will be called ‘Grace and Glory’. 

As I read the story I began to see many parallels in my own life.  I had a fairytale childhood complete with grandparents that owned an amusement park.  My life began to unravel when at the age of sixteen my father died very suddenly.  That began my journey of being much afraid.  It lasted through seasons of being in a very abusive marriage which ended in being a single parent.  Being mom, dad, and bread winner was certainly like a trip up a mountain with perilous edges and hairpin turns.  

All of that changed on November 15, 1981.  I was literally dying from what the doctors said was “Toxic Shock Syndrom, when suddenly through the healing power of the Shepherd, I was healed and born again.  My life began to change in ways that I had never dreamed possible.  After many years of on-and-off separations, my marriage was dissolved.  A short time after that, he went home to be with the Lord.  I was able to preach at his funeral and put closure to that part of my life.  I attended college and received a degree in Biblical Studies.  Shortly after graduation I became a part of the pastoral staff of The Tabernacle.

I am excited and overwhelmed to be celebrating my twenty-sixth year of being a “New Creation” in Christ.  Through Him many “old things” in my life have become “new”.  He has changed my name several times from lost to found, slave to free, outcast to one who overcomes and servant to friend.  But there was more change to come.  The Lord began speaking to me about changing my name.  He showed me that naming a person was rooted in the ancient world’s understanding that a name expressed essence.  To know the name of a person was to know their total character and nature.

My name changed from Josephine to “Jo Ann.” and I have chosen the last name of “Angelo” for three reasons.  First, it was my maternal grandmother’s maiden name and she had a tremendous influence on my life.  Secondly, my grandmother’s brother, Thomas Angelo was saved and received the Baptism in the Holy Spirit more than 70 years ago.  He raised his children in the faith and many of them prayed for me over the years. By taking the name Angelo, I believe that I have been grafted in to a rich heritage in the Lord and a legacy of service to Him.  Finally, Angelo comes from the Greek word ‘angelos’ which means ‘messenger’.  With God’s Grace I will spend the rest of my life being a messenger for Him.

Signed, 

Grace & Glory

Imprints of a Journey

On this journey called life, my story begins

with childhood memories and colorful dreams

 Seeds of truth planted

His voice then, a whispering breeze,

"Look to me My child, I am everything you need"

The teenage years came

with insecurities ever strong

yet he drew me into His arms

and showed me where I truly belong

A season in college, decisions to make

completely uncertain of which path to take

as I lifted my eyes, He showed me His way

It was on His path I knew I must stay

Beginning to see a world broken and dying

smiles on faces, yet souls desperately crying

for the truth and hope only found in the One

Who lived in me - the eternal, beloved Son

Oh, the weight of His love for them! Yes, I could

be  a voice, a touch....that might lead them to Him! 

I soon walked down the aisle, taking my groom’s hand

a whole new life we would soon understand 

A covenant established, the vows exchanged

two souls united, never to be the same

Becoming one, such beautiful mystery

while facing ourselves, with every frailty

Seeing God’s strength overcome what is weak,

knowing with all certainty, He is everything we need

This journey then brought me to a delicate place

where I learned a very personal meaning of grace

as secrets uncovered a beloved sister's pain

 the truth discovered soon became a family's disdain

Harsh words spoken, the tears softly flowed

bondage was broken, while disbelief was shown

Heartbreak and loss, felt all around

understanding just could not seem to be found

Yet forgiveness, it flows where His mercy grows

His loved healed her heart, and taught me to let go

I hear His voice speaking in moments of grief,

“I am still everything You and they need”

Two precious sons, filling our arms

joyful exhaustion, while smiling at all their charms

Learning to lay down our lives everyday

knowing it is us who must show them the way

Oh Lord Jesus, I give you all the praise

Thank you for leading me all of my days

On this journey called life, it is You I seek

for truly You have been and will be

everything I could hope for… everything I need